what to do if your brother is gay

I was in Atlantic Metropolis with my best friends when a tabular array of women nearby — moms in their tardily 30s to early 40s — decided to join in on our Fri night out.

They were getting away from their kids and husbands for the weekend, equally we were getting away from the hustle and hurry of New York Metropolis. They immediately clocked u.s.a. as gay, while we immediately clocked them as tipsy.

After we warmed upwardly to another, ane mom anxiously said: "I have a question: I am pretty sure my son is gay, but I don't know what to practise. He hasn't come up out yet, only I wanna make sure he knows I'll exist OK with information technology."

Most LGBTQ youth are aware of their sexual orientation or gender identity past the starting time of adolescence. But nonetheless, the existent and perceived fearfulness of rejection still deters many children from coming out.

What can parents do?

From responding to Neil Patrick Harris on "The Tonight Prove" to spending some fourth dimension with Google, here are six things a parent can do before their child comes out.

i. Answer to an LGBTQ graphic symbol in the media

With LGBTQ visibility continuing to rise in the media, there are plenty of opportunities to alienation the topic in your household.

"If yous're watching TV or a moving-picture show together and an LGBTQ character comes on, seize the opportunity to assert to your child that you are accepting and supportive of LGBTQ people," Kristina Furia, the founder and executive manager of Emerge Wellness and Philadelphia LGBTQ Counseling, tells TODAY Parents.

"It may seem counter-intuitive simply the best thing to practice is to wait for your child to open up up to you."

two. Stop any and all hate speech

This may seem like an obvious ane, simply microaggressions are a great opportunity for you lot to demonstrate to your child that you lot are an ally.

A 2018 report from the Human Rights Campaign shows that 78% of LGBTQ youth who are non out at home hear their families make negative comments about LGBTQ people.

Furia says, "It is crucial that your child feel that your home and ultimately you are a condom space. You must not allow hateful speech, whether subtle or overt, of any kind to be tolerated."

For example, if someone uses the word "gay" in identify of "stupid," remind them that the ii are not interchangeable, and suggest they should say what they really mean instead.

three. Educate yourself

Start educating yourself almost the LGBTQ community: Yous don't take to wait for the big "coming out" moment to first learning.

"Consider increasing your understanding of the LGBTQ experience and brushing up on appropriate language," Furia says. "At that place is an array of vocabulary relevant to the customs that you very well might non know even so."

four. Seek your ain network

You're as well role of your child's LGBTQ feel, and then brand sure you take intendance of yourself in the procedure.

"Consider getting involved with an organization for boosted support and resources," Furia says. "PFLAG is a great place to start."

PFLAG is the nation'south first and largest organization for LGBTQ people, their families and allies.

"Cocky-intendance is crucial, which means that even as y'all are learning how best to support your child or loved one, you must also find support for yous," Liz Owen, manager of communications for PFLAG National, told TODAY.

"This is especially true if your emotions are less positive, equally you'll need a prophylactic place to work through those feelings. PFLAG meetings are a great and confidential way to find people who accept gone through like experiences. You can find a chapter near you by visiting here."

Another group specifically for dads is Dragon Dads, an online network and resource for religious fathers who shower their LGBTQ children with love and support.

5. Ask open-ended questions

Facilitating healthy dialogue can begin with the parent.

"Requite your kid ample opportunity to open up upwardly and share their thoughts and feelings. Whether they desire to talk about their hopes for the future, or a situation that happened in school or at work that 24-hour interval, the prospect for open give-and-take is endless," Owen says.

"If you take a sense that your loved 1 might want to talk, but isn't doing then on their own, a gentle open-concluded question, such every bit, 'How did things go at schoolhouse/piece of work/church building today?' can open the door to dialogue."

6. Don't push

Furia and Owen both stress the importance of non jumping the gun. Allow your child accept the atomic number 82.

"It is important that you address this subject with slap-up intendance," Furia explains. "It may seem counter-intuitive but the best thing to do is to wait for your child to open up to yous. If asked about their sexual orientation or gender identity earlier they're fix to talk over information technology, your kid might shell up, or worse, experience feelings of embarrassment or fifty-fifty shame. The best thing you tin can do is to make the conversation welcome by creating a warm and rubber environment where open communication is the norm."

And when they finally are ready to talk, Owen adds, "Really listen."

These resource can help:

• PFLAG: The country'south largest arrangement uniting parents, families, and allies with people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer.
• Gender Spectrum: Offers groups, training, and resource promoting gender sensitivity and inclusion for all youth
• GLBT National Resources Database: LGBTQ+ digital directory of resources
• National Queer and Trans Therapists of Colour Network: Directory of therapists/counselors who are people of color
• National LGBTQ Task Force: The progressive advocacy arm of the LGBTQ+ motion

During LGBTQ Pride Month, TODAY is sharing the community'south history, pain, joy and what's next for the motion. We will be publishing personal essays, stories, videos and specials throughout the entire month of June. For more than, head here.

This story was published in 2019 and has been updated.

Alexander Kacala is a reporter and editor at TODAY Digital and NBC OUT. He loves writing virtually pop culture, trending topics, LGBTQ issues, style and all things elevate. His favorite celebrity profiles include Cher — who said their interview was one of the nigh interesting of her career — equally well as Kylie Minogue, Candice Bergen, Patti Smith and RuPaul. He is based in New York City and his favorite moving-picture show is "Pretty Adult female."

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Source: https://www.today.com/parents/i-think-my-child-may-be-gay-6-things-parents-t164428

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